8 Signs You Were Raised by a Toxic Mother

Growing up with a toxic mother can leave lasting emotional scars that impact various aspects of your life. It can reflect low self-esteem in you to difficulties in forming trusting relationships. Let’s discuss 8 signs that indicate you may have been raised by a toxic mother and how these experiences can shape your emotional well-being.

1. You suffer from low self esteem 

Constant criticism, belittlement, and unrealistic expectations that your primary caregiver has of you can erode your self-worth.  This is because it makes you feel you are not good enough, making it challenging to believe in your abilities and worthiness. Over time, you may internalize negative messages, and being under confident throughout your life. 

2. You don’t trust people easily

Growing up in an environment where trust was constantly violated can make it difficult to trust others easily. A toxic mother may have manipulated your emotions, broken promises, or betrayed your trust repeatedly. Consequently, you may find it challenging to open up and form meaningful connections, always wary of potential hurt and disappointment.

3. You have perfectionist tendencies

Toxic mothers often set impossibly high standards and demand perfection from their children. The constant pressure to meet these expectations can lead to the development of perfectionist tendencies. You may find yourself striving for flawlessness in all areas of life, fearing failure, and being overly critical of yourself even when you achieve success.

4. You are unable to express your emotions

Living in an emotionally toxic environment can suppress your ability to express your true feelings. A toxic mother may have discouraged or invalidated your emotions, leaving you unsure of how to communicate your needs and desires. As a result, you might struggle with identifying and expressing your emotions effectively, leading to frustration and a sense of emotional disconnect.

5. You prioritize others more than yourself

If your mother was toxic, you might have learnt to put what you think, feel, want and need at the last of your priority list. You have been conditioned to prioritize your mom’s happiness, at the expense of your own needs and wants. This can  bring up a pattern of self-neglect which can persist into adulthood, which can make it challenging for you  to assert your own needs and establish healthy boundaries. Also you may develop people pleasing tendencies, which can harm your self worth even more. 

6. Comparing yourself to others

Toxic mothers often foster an environment of competition and comparison, pitting siblings against each other or unfavorably comparing their children to others. This type of  upbringing can result in a deeply ingrained habit of comparing yourself to others, leading to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, a feeling of never being good enough.

7. Unable to be receptive of love and show your love to your partner/family

The lack of emotional support and affection from your mother may have left you feeling unworthy or undeserving of love. So, you might struggle to form intimate connections and find it challenging to express love and affection to your partner or family members. Also you may feel undeserving of any love that you receive.

8. You need constant validation from others

Due to the constant criticism and lack of validation during childhood, individuals raised by toxic mothers often seek external validation as adults. You may constantly seek approval from others, may it be about your feelings, job performance or appearance. It can make you very sensitive to rejection or disapproval. This kind of reliance on external validation can create a cycle of dependency, making it difficult to develop self-assurance and self confidence.